Dating : How to Text a Crush During Quarantine — What’s Changed & What Hasn’t

Today, the majority of us are in limbo — marinating in what’s become of our lives under viral-induced confinement.

The current landscape is especially tough for those of us who are lonely and looking for love.

How do you date now? How do you meet new partners? How do you maintain new relationships? All unique challenges since we can’t be around other people.

We have dating apps, which offer a beacon of connectivity in our suddenly confined world. So even though in-person meetups aren’t a thing right now, we can still create low-effort interactions that provide us with at least some attention from would-be suitors.

Through these apps, we can establish genuine emotional connections — but the truth is that many of these rendezvous are likely to be short-lived. Most connections will putter out before anyone gets the chance to meet in person. It’s hard not to grow bored with someone when you‘ve been messaging back and forth with for weeks on end, unable to meet.

And then there are those poor souls who sparked a connection right before the viral outbreak erupted across the globe. They’re stuck unable to progress their relationship via the standard courtship trajectories (i.e. physical interaction). How will they maintain said spark in these unprecedented times?

All is not lost. With some simple adjustments, it’s possible to turn a promising connection into an enduring love affair during this global, viral event.

The standard, non-COVID texting advice still stands: you want to avoid becoming stuck in an endless texting loop with a love interest. Endless messaging only serves to lower attraction levels.

You want your text (and phone) conversations to serve as a stepping stone for the primary goal of creating a date. Under normal circumstances, you’d message a bit, maybe talk on the phone or Facetime to see if you connect, then meet up for a drink or some other shared physical activity.

The eventual meetup is key to progressing the romance. Without a date, you’re just their penpal. And you don’t want to put yourself in that role if you’re trying to build a strong, sexual attraction with someone.

Because circumstances are far from normal, you’re unlikely to get physically close with a match very soon. So what should you do? Should you just throw in the towel and give in to texting life stories back and forth?

No! You still want to use texting as it’s meant to be used—to create dates. I’m not implying that you should break your region’s quarantine rules. In some parts of the world, you could literally be arrested for doing so. You just need to get inventive about the kind of dates you create.

And what kind of dates are best during quarantine? Video dates.

The key to setting up a video-chat date is to make it feel as close to a real-life date as possible. You want to set a time, a mood, and a purpose. You want it to feel real and intentional.

For example, you might set up a 1 PM coffee date using Facetime/Messenger video. You could spend time together in your kitchens, preparing your drinks, and then move to your dining area, back yard, or your favorite little nook while you sip your cups of coffee in rapt conversation.

If your coffee date goes well and attraction builds, you can escalate to a dinner date next time.

For your dinner date, set a time and a plan. Say 7 PM, pasta and wine. You each grab your supplies beforehand — your favorite bottles of wine and some pasta. You begin your video call by pouring a glass of wine and then get cooking together. Once everything is made, you can sit at your dinner table (or wherever you want — it’s your house after all) and enjoy the food and company. Be creative —dress well, set the mood with some candles, etc. The Hygge game offers some great conversation starters.

There’s no denying that virtual dating is much different than the full experience you’d from connecting in person. Nevertheless, there’s something charming about sharing unique experiences like these during COVID.

Plus, these dates will make it easy to screen out poor romantic matches (you don’t even have to leave your home). And your interactions will be miles more meaningful and vulnerable than staring at chat bubbles while writing large swaths of text back and forth.

If you’re really hitting things off, you could always step things up by planning a much more intimate video date, complete with some excitement-building sexting. But that’s a topic for another article.

With this method of dating it’s easier than ever to blow off your date without repercussions. But of course, you shouldn’t make plans for a video date with someone unless you’re actually going to follow through. Breaking plans and standing people up always sucks, coronavirus or not.